this woman is an island

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I think, and maybe this is me justifying my own decisions, that there is something to be said for the courage it takes to turn down one opportunity for a shot at another, completely different one.

25 to life

I just turned 25 so now seems like as good a time as any to reflect on my life so far. 

I don’t really think of my life in terms of events or milestones, I kind of just think about things that I loved and what interested me or inspired me or made me think or made me forget. 

25 years is really a long time, which is odd because when you tell someone you’re 24 or 25 or whatever 20-something age, the common reaction is to say how young you are. 

Because you are. Age is so bizarre. Maybe it’s still considered so young because, in addition to it being young relative to, say, being 87, you also spend the first like…. 18-21ish years of your life developing and becoming a full-on person. Not to say that if you’re younger than that you’re not fully a person haha that’s sort of mean and r hilarious. 

Sorry, let me get back on track.

And also let me be abundantly clear, this is not some wise, insightful look into my psyche and this is not an attempt at showcasing any kind of superior self-awareness and intellect. 

I’m 25. Here are some things I know about myself:

I love to read, but I think even more than that I just love books. I love being surrounded by them and building an eclectic collection of genres to have around me and just… sort of nourish my soul. 

I don’t like even numbers. Oh, they’re the worst. I can’t explain it… there’s a symmetry to them that I hate and they’re too perfect. Like circles… can’t handle circles either.

I love shoes. Seriously, Carrie Bradshaw had a shoe problem that the world probably saw as ridiculous and unrealistic but it’s a real thing, folks. At least I don’t go around buying a new pair of Manolo’s every week (I wish). 

I can’t stand gum. I don’t know when it happened. I used to love gum. But I don’t like the way it looks. I think it looks tacky and honestly who wants to look like they’re eating all the time? Give your jaw a rest and have a mint.

Traveling alone is the single greatest experience you could have. It allows you to feel the full spectrum of emotions and feelings that you should have when you’re traveling: anxiety, nervousness, fear, exhilaration, elation, excitement, contemplation, love, happiness, contentment, introversion, extroversion, sadness…. you name it. I think it’s so important to feel every emotion alone at some point. And yes, your feelings are always your own, but often we lean on another person when we are feeling something regardless if it’s a negative or a positive emotion. You learn more about yourself when you are forced to deal with it alone.

Love really is more important than anything. I am not an emotional person. But I understand, more-so lately than ever before I think, that you will feel so much more peace in your life if you spend it just loving things and people. I know so many people who go through life so unhappy and it is because they spend too much time hating and not enough time loving. Just let it go, folks. It really is all good.

I don’t like talking about money. I think it’s impolite and rude and it should be totally private. And quite frankly I just don’t care. I hate money and I loathe that it’s a necessity in society. That is all.

That being said I have a shopping problem. Odd, isn’t it? It’s not even like I think to myself, “I want something new. I need this and this and I want this and that.” It’s one of my least favorite things about myself. 

My main goal career-wise is to some day write a book. I don’t know what kind, I don’t know when or why other than I love writing and I want to have something tangible as proof of my creativity like that to hold in my hands and feel amazing about.

Music is the only kind of therapy I have ever needed. It’s so easy to find an amazing song that really says everything that you need to hear at any given moment in any situation. Why do therapists even exist when you can listen to Interpol?

Being overly-concerned with other people and their lives, particularly strangers, is a giant waste of your time. Seriously, the sooner you learn that the better. You’ll probably live ten years longer.

Television is not evil.

Politics are annoying but also necessary. It’s important to be aware of what is going on in the world and how we all fit together in this crazy place. It is paramount that we understand our culture, and politics are a huge part of that. That being said I find conservative views to be archaic and socially irrelevant.

I am sure there are lot of other things that I’ve learned over the years, but those stick out the most I guess. Hopefully I still have plenty of years to learn more trivial things about life. So I guess if I still have this blog in another four years (I still can’t believe my little blog is four! Awww!) I’ll do this again and nobody will read it… again.

Quarter of a Century

For the past few weeks I have been working on this post about turning 25 and what I’ve learned from life in these past 25 years. It’s been really fun and weirdly emotional, but I am so glad I am writing it even if nobody else ever reads it because I think it will help me breathe a little bit to have it all written in one place.