So I’m an over-thinker. People tell me this all the time. I think too much about everything, about every situation and how it could pan out or how it should have happened but didn’t - I just think too much.
I never used to be like this, and I don’t really know when it started happening - but it started right about the time I started getting headaches, I think. (There I go again… shoooooot) Is this a normal thing? I know thinking is a normal, healthy thing to do - and by that I mean it’s inherent and we have to have thoughts… it’s science or something. But how do people filter good, normal, useful thoughts from bad, erratic, or ridiculous ones?
I am fairly confident that if I were able to separate my thoughts more efficiently I would be a much more organized person and an infinitely better writer.
But when a million different things are flooding my brain at once they all end up drowning, you know?
SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
As I understand it, two small parts of adulthood are making decisions (especially the tough ones) - not just doing what you want all the time.
And also knowing when to walk away.
Tonight I realized that I haven’t really mastered either of these things.
I am an inherently kind person. I would never intentionally hurt another person. I am a weird sort of people pleaser. I’m not a kiss-ass but I love it when everyone is happy and I hate arguing. But tonight instead of thinking about a situation and making a decision based on what i knew was right, I just did what I wanted to do. And I knew immediately made the wrong decision. I walked to my car saying “shit shit shit shit…”
There was clearly a line drawn and I just went right on past it like it wasn’t even there. I should have walked away, but my internal desire to satisfy my curiosity and desire was stronger than my desire to make a morally sound choice.
As I drove home tonight I was upset, not because of what I did but because I didn’t really feel bad about it. And that scares me more than anything else. I worry that I will never be able to resist temptations or use willpower. I’m sure there will be some big moment in my life where it all just changes and I know how to be a proper adult, but until then I hope I can avoid any more nights like this.
Stunning wall. Floors. Desk. Everything.
I know there are quizzes all around the web offering to help you “find your style” - are you Girly? Classic? Edgy? Bohemian? We’ve all seen these and probably taken a few (guilty), but if you’re anything like me you never get the result you want. Why?
Because ,most of us probably possess a sense of style that’s a mixture of a few of these, or maybe on some days I feel preppy and on other days I’m feeling rock and roll (those days are my favorite).
Mostly I don’t know much about personal style or curating a wardrobe, but I do know that when I want to take a look at my taste and sort of figure myself out, go to my favorite sites and check out my wishlists. I learn the most about my personal style from my Net-a-porter wishlist, I swear.
It allows me to take a step back and see what I like and how it all comes together collectively (or how it doesn’t). I know there are also apps for things like this, like Stylebook and whatnot, but I love looking at, say, my J.Crew wishlist and seeing how I can compare or blend those pieces with pieces from other sites.
And I don’t think it’s particularly important to have a definitive “style” I know some days I can dress as preppy as anyone, and the next I’ll be in skinny jeans a beanie and studded ankle boots - and maybe it’s better to be different day to day and just wear what you love, regardless of what that glamour quiz told you your style was.
But hey, what do I know!